19. the similarities could kill us
It freaks me out too. You meet so many people, day in and day out knowing none of them would do. Not really, anyway. Maybe for numbers 2 through 1,999,999 but not number 1.
There’s something off about the connections we say ‘maybe’ and ‘no’ to. And that’s okay. We learn a lot in the feeling of displeasure.
But then you meet someone who feels like only pleasure and you don’t know what to do. Your brain short circuits. It hunts for displeasure because that’s what it’s used to experiencing. Self-preservation at it’s finest. Because pain is the common denominator in most of your relations. Uncomfortable is more familiar than the other feelings.
We didn’t have any of that. You tried to create it but even that couldn’t last long.
We were so well-fit. I wondered if the parts of me that felt like you were always there or if I just noticed them because of your presence. I didn’t know the mirror could look so good. The things I loved about me looked so much better on you. The things you loved about life looked like heaven through my eyes.
You were one in a million and we were two in one. I said things you only thought of. You acted in ways I only dreamt of. I couldn’t find the breaking part between you and me. It didn’t seem to exist.
All at once, there was only us. No you, nor i.