9. aphorisms

Everything is a blur. If one thing can be a delusion, can’t they all?

What you want rarely ever shows up exactly how you asked for it. That’s the final test. Can you recognize what you asked for when it’s presented in different clothing? Or will you just pass them by because you don’t like the shoes. This isn’t about a person. But i can be.

Whenever i’m talking to myself it’s with the love mindset in my mind. i always let me feel my emotions, i always listen to me express my emotions, i always ask what i can get me or what i can do better for me next time. i say sorry to m3 all the time. i say i love you, michelle.

Just another statistic
A rounding out of your numbers
You couldn’t stand ending on an odd one

Press the button
Smooth out your equation
Keep me in your pocket for your next insecure occasion

The more I got to me
The more I got to him

We let thoughts kill us.
Especially the ones about love.

It’s funny how
when we meet the 1
there is this deep belly fear
How could someone that perfect
be real
And if they are real
how could they ever feel
the same way about me?
lil
        ‘ol
                    me
                               !
                                       ?
But the reality is that’s the
Deep
Belly
Feeling
Not fear
And the truth is
They’re not perfect
No one is
They’re only seem perfect because of you

I can’t feel insecure at home. Home is where I’m protected by the heavenly gates. Saturn is the mirror. And it’s a wall.I can feel insecure when I leave the home But I can never feel insecure at home. Home is my only safe space. And I need to feel safe in another person and in a home.

I hope this was all for the best.
I hope I’m delusional about the small things but not the big things that are the roots to the grand vision.

I’m tired of giving me away. I’m tired of letting people enter a space to throw rocks at me. I hate that simple things on social media feel like rocks to me but they do. And that’s what you have to understand about me.

You can make anything happen if you want it enough.

New York was always my dream
It was only my first dream

I hold pieces of all of you within me.
I am all you’s.
- Aquarius moon

One of the most fundamental characteristics of being alive is that you die.

 

We only ever meet perfection
In a mirror
With someone else

I wonder how many misfates we’ve had.
Timelines that could’ve aligned
but never touched.
I wonder how fast I could’ve gotten to you.
I wonder if you took your time getting to me.

I want to be in love.
I know that.
I am I also terrified of having a real shot at love?
Yeah, because there’s a chance I lose it.
There’s a chance I never get it.
Love is a game.
But it’s the only game where it’s not losers and winners.
No one loses at love.
And no one wins at love.
Love is lost and gained over and over and over.
No outcome.
Just a back and forth.
For ever.
With everyone.

What if everything you thought you felt
You actually knew
Trust your gut

People only know I feel sad once they make me cry.
People only want to love me once they’ve made me hate them.

Don’t sexualize me
Because you’re male
And I’m female
Think critically about me

Learn self-love
To be a better lover
When you’re the only one
Who’s around to love

I play the game because I know that’s all it is.

Who would casually date ME!!??
You think I could ever be casually dated. No. All. Or nothing.

If you’re also an aquarius moon who struggles to attach themselves to any one thing in life whether it be a person, a job, a feeling - because to you the beauty of life is that it’s comprised of a hundred billion pieces that are not meant to be held but observed and admired, just remember that jesus was also an aquarius moon.

Oh baby, you and me could make the stars in the sky feel like mere observers.

If I finally believe in 11:11
What happened to all my wishes?
Before I knew the divine
Before I met the cosmos
I always wished at 11:11
I guess the angel line wasn’t open
I didn’t have me at the receiving end
I couldn’t hear me
I couldn’t hear me
What’d you say?
I couldn’t tell the cosmos
If I didn’t know the cosmos

I only know what I know
When I know what I know
I don’t know what I don’t know
All I know is what I know now
And what I will know then is all I will know then

Are you living or are you dying?
alive |———————————————| dead
                                Alive
                                   O
                                Dead

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DO︎︎︎WN