9. aphorisms

mother of my children
there’s something about the one
that’s make you wonder if they could be
the feeling of who should’ve been your mother
and how’d you turn out if she had been
it’s that motherly yearning
a man seeks in a woman

i can’t help it. strategy comes easy to me.
it’s hard not to implement strategy when i’m thinking about what i’m doing. but i’m lightning on my feet.

 
no parents
no rules
no parents
no pants
no parents
LETS CURSE!!

i think me and my older brother are naturally funny. my dad learned from us but taught us tricks along the way. we all got funnier together. mom joe and nicole never quite leaned in to the humor fully. they’re funny. they can make jokes. but they’re not constantly performing like my dad and i and charles. 

i’m making a simple point but hollywood stars are how long hollywood has been just for the photo. LA is just for the photo. NY is just for the intellect.

i love a good tour.

my entire life is just performing acts of love.

home renovators are so cute
like yes baby keep updating the decor


other people told me i was pretty
i saw it in their eyes
and the way they said my name
i didn’t know i was pretty
until i saw what you saw in me


my unpopular opinion?
i don’t think all of life is about sex
i think that’s a masculine point of view
women think of life as divinely, worldly
we see the intersections
men see the intersexactions. 


i never dreamt of weddings and rehearsals
or dates  
i just always wished that when it came time for it
it’d be easy
i thought we were different
but you were like all the others that came before
scared and disappointing
another one running away
when will i get used to the smell of dirt flying in my face
when will i learn
how hard i am to love


you make it seem like i’m the hardest thing in the world to love without ever explaining how you got to that conclusion.


i thought you’d be different is all


connection
compatibility
chemistry
correlation
conjunction


none of it mattered
if you didn’t make a choice


you made choosing me
seem like the hardest decision to make


i thought it would be easy is all



it was easy for me to see

it was easy for me to agree

it was easy for me to lean in

you were the troubled one


you seemed like the type to use their power
to spoil women


it felt like everyone was comfortable to watch me on the main stage as i died publicly.

they weren’t there because they liked me
they were there to steal my shine.
they didn’t want me
they just wanted something of mine.
they wanted what i had
but they didn’t like who i was.


the thing about mirages.


all that meditation
and you still don’t know
what you’re looking at
all the time spent in stillness
and you still don’t know
how to stay calm

you can’t grow
without helping those,
who help you grow,
help grow
along the way

the thought of being a beautiful women in a beautiful dress walking along a water town with a period stain on the backside you only see once she’s passed by you - as performance art, soothes my soul.

you hide and i butterfly
social

i took your hat and made it a bow
tied you around the pretty little hairs
your pretty little fingers
could’ve stroke
or pet lovingly
the strands you could’ve made
everlasting bows out of


hair too shiny
couldn’t catch a grip
hair too shiny
couldn’t catch a gaze

i saw the gaze first
then i hear the way their voice
would follow me

the way their attention on me
would get them into trouble
moving too soon
crash
moving too slow
destruction

turns out you were the one in the well.
tricked ya.

the cooks and the tricksters
the cookies and the tricks

everyone was plotting our demise.
it's time to execute the rise.
dream worlds know no limits.
it’s to the skies for you and i.
they’ll watch our shine.
but they’ll have to pay for their tickets.


the last light before the tunnel -
i soon as i got out
you got taken into your tunnel
i was the last light for you
before it went dark
now we’re all just waiting for you
to get through your tunnel
and see the light again

if my mom didn’t smoke cigarettes we all would’ve died in that house
lol

that was my way of saying “you’re dead to me. until you get back from hell. cuz i’m up here. and ur going down there. again. see ya.”

the spelling bee

it’s

any

ones

game.  


baby, you haven’t even begun your journey.
you’re still at the stepping off point.
i thought you were further along.
but you’re not.

keeping everyone at bay
you thought that was
what needed to be done -
your work to do

whether with gold or mold

Draping yourself in dismissed love is worse than having no money.

 

 









 

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