6. sammy
[My parents Ralph and Angela asked if I could write a blurb about Sammy for their 55+ community newsletter as this month’s featured dog. What you see below is about a thousand words over the 200-300 word limit they asked for, so a condensed version, edited by my father, will be published in the next issue.]
Sammy Samuel Liuzzo
Sammy didn’t come into this world in an ordinary kind of way. No, Sammy’s life began like the opposite of the Harry Potter plot line. Instead of being abandoned by good parents at birth, Sammy was taken away from bad parents. Sammy was chosen by his future parents Ralph and Michelle (daughter) at a puppy mill in Pennsylvania. I know what you’re thinking and no, it’s not weird that Michelle is Sammy’s mother instead of Angela because Sammy is a dog and he didn’t come from either one of their bodies. And unfortunately for Angela, when it comes to dogs those that pick them out become their parents and in this case that means Michelle and Ralph are Sammy’s parents. But don’t worry Angela is still an amazing Bonus Mom for Sammy!!
It was a sunny day in July of 2008. Michelle was entering her senior year of highschool and yearning for some responsibility when she convinced her father to get another dog. To this day no one understands how she did it. Ralph was as good of bullshitter as anyone so to persuade him of doing something he repeatedly said he wouldn’t was quite the feat for Michelle. When they got to the puppy mill they walked along the rows of cages filled with dogs. Big dogs, medium dogs, brown dogs, black dogs and finally little white dogs. The owner of the puppy mill offered to bring all the little white dogs in the cage over to the “farm” area so Michelle could see them run and play before deciding which one she wanted.
An excerpt from Michelle: I remember immediately pointing to the little one in the back corner that was too timid to engage with the other dogs, and my father replying “no you wanna get a dog that’s active and plays with other dogs” and so I looked around for a dog like that. There were plenty of them. But none of them got my attention except for the one in the corner. He eyes told me “please get me out of here” and so I did. I told my dad I didn’t want the other dogs, I wanted “that one.” And just like that my dad gave in. The dog threw up the whole 2 hour car ride home. I sat in his throw up with him and held him tight.
From there, Sammy’s life took off. He moved into a mansion off of Woodstock road with 3 acres of grass to roam around, or just to look at. A bonus mom! Two brothers! One sister! And another f*king dog in the house. When the Liuzzo’s picked Sammy up it was the best day of his life. When he found out we already had another dog, a golden doodle named Snickers, it became the worst day of his life. But Sammy had survived much worse and he wasn’t gonna let some bimpy-boopy hippie like Snickers get in his way of finally living a good life. So he dealt with Snickers. And Snickers dealt with him. Snickers wanted to play with Sammy but as soon as he’d start playing he’d forget he wanted to play and take a seat instead. A classic case of dog ADHD. So Sammy learned to let Snickers tire himself out rolling around on carpets while Sammy got warm snuggling up next to his humans on the couch.
This went on for a few years. The two dogs co-existing with brief moments of both good and bad intersections. Sammy always put their shared love of the same humans above his hatred of Snickers. And Snickers continued to chill.
Until one day. In 2011, Michelle came home from college for a long weekend with the brilliant idea of taking Sammy to college with her. Her and her roommates were desperate to get a cute and cuddly fur pet to warm up the apartment and Michelle had the perfect cute and cuddly fur pet to warm up the apartment. Angela and Ralph agreed to Michelle taking Sammy back to college with her. To be honest they probably should’ve fought harder to keep Sammy with them but what was the worst Michelle could do to Sammy at college? Well, she made Sammy famous. At the University of South Carolina he was known around the block as THAT DOG who stole the football teams starting quarterback Rottweiler’s tennis ball off his lawn and never gave it back. She made him a twitter account which is to this day one of the funniest twitter accounts written from the perspective of a dog (@itsmemonseiur). She trained Sammy to stop and look both ways at stop signs without a command. She even got him cast for a performance in a low budget music video to Wop by J. Dash you know the one… “now let me see you wop wop wop wop wop wop wop wop.” Finally Sammy was getting the attention he deserved from every well-respected human around him.
But unfortunately it wasn’t long-lasted. After one semester Michelle learned that at this point in her life being responsible for keeping a living breathing thing alive was probably outside her scope of responsibilities. So she came home in the spring and Sammy stayed in Maryland, returning to the hands of Angela and Ralph and the eyesight of Snickers. There was no bad blood between Sammy and Michelle, he agreed - she didn’t have the capacity (at that time) to care for him in all the ways he wanted.
Shortly after returning to Maryland, Sammy was on the run again. This time, he was running with Angela and Ralph from Woodstock Road to the Ellicott Meadows community (Snickers was with them too). The move to Ellicott Meadows bonded Sammy and Snickers, when they arrived at their new home they both simultaneously thought to themselves “where the f*** is our lawn!?” They didn’t realize that downsizing for Angela and Ralph also meant downsizing for Sammy and Snickers. Having to be put on a schedule to go to the bathroom was new for them but they both grew to enjoy walks. Sammy more than Snickers. By this point Snickers was getting pretty old and he soon passed away. It didn’t hit Sammy until after Snickers was gone just how much it meant to him to have another fur companion always in the house with him. Sammy grew anxious. Without Snickers to keep him company at home, he really did not like when his humans left the house. So they started bringing him everywhere with them.
Sammy now has a whole list of hobbies. He loves walks around the neighborhood. He’s been on hikes at parks all across Maryland and even a few in Pennsylvania and Delaware. He’s got a long distance girlfriend who lives with his Grandmother in Pennsylvania, they schedule monthly visits - sometimes he goes there, sometimes she comes here. He’s been to beaches all along the Eastern shore, even a few in Florida! Car rides aren’t his favorite but understands they’re a means to an end. His favorite game is fetch and his favorite pastime is chewing up stuffed animals. On the weekends, he loves to check out local breweries and vineyards. He can’t stand baths or wearing costumes but he’ll do both because it makes his humans happy. Every once in a while he meets another little dog that he likes but for the most part he can’t stand other dogs. He’s always found a deeper connection to humans, after all they are the ones who keep him alive and happy!!