2. pinball machine
Getting to know him was like being shot around the insides of a pinball machine. I could never hold my grip. Always flung against the wooden runways. It was so hard for me to understand the objective when I was inside the game. It was hard for me to love you when I was a pawn you chose to play that day.
And even though I always knew it was you. You felt different every time you pressed play. Different styles, strange moods, conflicting goals, confusing intentions. I said it was hard for me to understand. I didn’t get it.
Sometimes you played nice. Oh, so nice. Sometimes you pulled at me like you hated me. It hurt. Sometimes you played with your balls. Didn’t that hurt? Sometimes you played pool instead. More hurt.
I’d watch you with such admiration. I loved you before I ever got jammed in your solar system. You were so pure back then. I told the moon she finally had some competition.
I asked the sun to grant you as my one last wish then you pulled the earth out from underneath me. With every lie and try, my bones broke. With mistakes and misfires, my body sunk.
I thought I could survive it. I thought you’d throw me down a ladder, stop the blood from pouring out. But I sunk to the bottom of earth then felt gravity until another galaxy.
It’s so cold out here. The silence is deafening. I wonder when you’ll sling shot me into the heavens. Or if I’m stuck waiting in the gutter forever.